I found myself in Ireland
I found myself in Ireland. Not “oh hey, I happen to be in Ireland,” but I became whole in Ireland. That’s a big statement, becoming whole. I would explain this as meeting and learning to work with my higher self. It happened on a solo walking trip from a little town outside of Galway to Doolin. I stepped into myself. I found inner peace. I found forgiveness for all including myself. I found happiness. I lost the burden I had always be carrying and the life time of searching had come to an end.
“I feel healed,” is a phrase I have been using ever since this extraordinary experience in May 2014. I am healed. I know this because as I watch myself I see a woman who is open to relationships of all kinds. I see a woman making her decisions from a place of love, not fear. I see a woman who has faith that the world wants what’s best for her and that working with my higher self if how I partake in co-creating my best life.
Please let me take you back and tell you how I came to be in Ireland. I have been moving consistently since I became and adult. I was so sure the next place held my happiness. Or always thinking “No, wait let’s go back to the last place maybe I missed something there”. Looking for a rock unturned that would have been hiding my happiness this whole time. When I realized the moving was not working I switch to traveling. A trip every year searching for answers, a sign, something, anything that would end the internal war and bring peace. That was what I was actually hoping for. I could not dare to dream of the gift I did get; me.
In 2012 I came to the decision that I was just going to have to pick a place on the map and go there. In doing so, I would not be looking for happiness but creating it in a foreign land. I picked Croatia. It was a country I had visited in 2008 and very much enjoyed. In October 2013 I got on a plane. Europe bound.
Upon arriving in Zadar Croatia, a coastal town, I saw the sun making an ‘X marks the spot’, sign on the side of a building. I was sure I was here for good. The world had other plans, better plans. Being in Croatia, I learned to listen to divine guidance. Well, I began to understand what that meant and was trying my best to work with it. It was hard and took a lot of commitment to get better. I knew I was getting the hang of it when I realized I was preparing to leave Croatia. I did not know where I was going but knew deep down inside, this was the right decision.
I went to Italy. During a 3 month stay in Florence I became a master at listening to my divine guidance. I did not fully understand it, I just trusted it. When the idea of going to Ireland starting dancing around the edges of my conscious mind I was open to going. It made no sense at all financially, weather wise, or location wise, to me but I was going anyways. Ireland was like another planet to me. I knew it existed but I never thought of it or dreamed I would find answers there.
Upon arriving in Ireland the need to be out doors came over me like a wave. I wanted, needed, to be outside all day, walking around. In Galway I talked with the hostel staff and learned walking was common here. All I had to do was pick a place to walk to. I picked Doolin because it’s small, beautiful and magical. I had seen Doolin on a tour to the cliffs of Moher while in Galway and fell in love with it.
I had no idea when I got off the bus, in the little village in the Irish country side that day, that I would find all I was looking for and, more just a few days later. I look back at the conversation with the bus driver and should have known something extraordinary was waiting for me. “What are you looking for?” he said. “I don’t know but I will know it when I find it.” I replied. He smiled and said “that’s the best way to go about it”
It was on day three of the seven days of walking that I met myself. That the pieces came together. That I became whole. This is where I discovered who I really was. How I could live a life of happiness. And how I know what my heart is saying and that it is up to me to follow it.